


It's The Afternoon

by Blitz_Unite



Category: 2PM (Band), K-pop
Genre: 2pm needs more fanfics, Anxiety, Attempt at Humor, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Overworking, Team as Family, chapters get longer and longer, ensemble-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:22:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23646874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blitz_Unite/pseuds/Blitz_Unite
Summary: They're trying, they're all trying, but it's been a long time coming.A six (former seven) member group just trying to navigate their own individual struggles along with life's unfortunate love of self suffering and insecurity. Will they break or will they glue together even stronger?*Don't let the first chapter fool you*(*Unless you want it to*)
Relationships: will be updated...
Comments: 30
Kudos: 21





	1. The Unofficial Start

**Author's Note:**

> Don't let this chapter set the tone for the rest of the story, or you'll be missing out.

“Wooyoung often forgets to eat, he’s so busy with his schedule that his focus is always somewhere else and eating is put on the backburner,” Junho explained to the interviewer. “It’s why you always see us feeding him, not only cause he accepts it quickly because he just forgets to eat.”

“Ahhhh,” the interviewer nodded a bit awkwardly, because while Junho still might be smiling and teasing, a note of seriousness had washed over his face and tinged his words. 

“And then Taec-hyung is always working out and all…” Junho continued to answer the original question,  _ What’s the worst habit about each of your members?  _ Now without the sad smile. Junho despite being an idol for so long was still learning how to conceal his emotions properly, make sure nothing was ever too serious because then he lost his appeal. He shook his head and concentrated again on the interview. 

Soon it was over and he got to go back to the dorms. He didn’t feel that tired today, it had been a very mild day and mild days were good. But still, it felt too early to go back to the dorm right now, it would probably be empty. 

So Junho stayed out for a while more, visiting his juniors, going out to cafes and taking walks by himself. It wasn’t lonely, though of course he would’ve liked for his members to be there with him, he didn’t feel particularly sad. Content was the right word. And he was ready for that feeling to be amplified when he returned to the dorm finally. He used his key and entered gracefully. Nichkhun gave him a warm smile, he was sitting on the couch and Chansung was next to him, eyes glued to his phone. Minjun came out of the kitchen and gave a small greeting, then yelled for Taecyeon, who emerged from the hallway leading to the bedrooms less than a minute later. 

Wooyoung wasn’t home yet.

Junho sighed, but still sat down with his members at the couch and revelled the feeling of contentment, though it hadn’t peaked yet. But eventually it was too late, and the members retired to their rooms, having a little moment alone before sleeping. Junho stayed, on the couch with scarce light and his instagram open on his phone. 

Finally the last piece to make him content came through the door at around eleven in the night (which wasn’t  _ too _ bad). Wooyoung came in with half closed eyes and a stifled yawn. He jumped when he saw Junho though. “Why are you awake?” Wooyoung accused. 

“I could be asking you the same thing,” Junho said dryly, getting up. “We have to wake up early tomorrow, when was the last time you ate?” He watched Wooyoung scratch his head, and shook his own head. When Wooyoung finally came up with an answer, it was less than fine. So Junho lead the other man into the kitchen, sat him down and looked through the fridge for the leftovers Minjun had put away for this exact reason. 

“You didn’t have to stay up,” Wooyoung said drowsily, he was sleepy, and so was Junho. But Wooyoung would be losing even more energy (and weight) if he didn’t eat, then it would become even more serious. 

“I don’t understand why you stay back at the studios even after your already busy schedule,” Junho put the plate of food into the microwave and pressed the button. 

“Maybe if I get it right faster, they’ll ease up my schedule and I can spend more time with you guys,” Wooyoung muttered softly, Junho’s eyes shot up. It wasn’t like Woo to express his thoughts this way instead of brushing them off with a quip and a smile. So the younger softened and handed the food to the other, who started off eating slow and then absolutely tore into the food. It broke Junho’s heart to see Wooyoung eat so viciously, the latter didn’t even realize how hungry he was sometimes. 

“You should say that your schedule is too much, JYP will listen, at least a little bit,” Junho sat down next to Wooyoung on the dining table. 

“If I can’t handle this…” Wooyoung trailed off. 

“This isn’t about you being talented, I’m sure not even Einstein overworked himself the way you do!” Junho exclaimed. “Wooyoungie, you won’t be able to be your best if you’re stressed out like this, you’ll collapse.” 

“I-” Wooyoung paused, his eyes sparkling and wet. “I don’t know what to do,” He admitted finally. 

“It’s okay, we’re here to help you,” Junho murmured, taking away the empty plate and putting it in the sink. Wooyoung rubbed his eyes and stifled yet another yawn, which in turn caused Junho to yawn too. Junho grabbed Wooyoung and led them both to the hallway, or tried too, it was late and he got sleepy fast so it was more of him loosely holding Wooyoung’s arm. And now that the latter was actually here, the former’s adrenaline and motivation had left him to be a sleepy husk. Not that Wooyoung was off better. 

So in a sleepy daze with drooping limbs, Junho pulled Wooyoung into his bed, and if either of them were conscious enough to care, they didn’t say anything. They both collapsed onto Junho’s bed. 

“You know I’m still older than you right,” Wooyoung said, as they shuffled under the blanket. 

“I think god must’ve made some mistake,” Junho replied. Wooyoung tried to slap his arm but only resulted in a light tap, his hand resting there long after. They were sleepy, but for some reason, their talk felt unfinished. “Even physically, I’m telling you you’re smaller than me,”

“As if,” Wooyoung snorted. 

“I can pick you up, I have, several times,” Junho grinned. He liked this newfound power, he was getting stronger and stronger. Next stop was Minjun, and that was probably about as much as he could pick. Maybe Nichkhun but he didn’t know if he wanted to put in that much work. Wooyoung laughed, and Junho realized he’d said his thoughts out loud. “Okay yes, it’s time to sleep,”

“Good night,” Wooyoung whispered. Junho opened his mouth but found himself too tired to actually produce any sound. 

In the morning, when they wake up in a heap of tangled limbs with Wooyoung’s head on Junho’s chest and both of them drowsy, if either of them were conscious enough to care as they messily left the bed, they didn’t say anything. 


	2. The Actual Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minjun: Main Vocalist, Eldest, Composer

Fans got too much sometimes. 

Minjun groaned as he made his way through, people grabbing at him, scratching him. He loved their support but their ways to show enthusiasm didn’t always enthuse him. When he finally reached the stage, he jumped away from them, with a smile on his face of course. If he let them know right now that they were harming him, management would cut off his head. He winced as he caught sight of Junho and Wooyoung, who were in similar shape to him. 

“Here,” Nichkhun held out a napkin for him, which Minjun gladly accepted. “Wooyoung was bleeding and I figured you are too,” 

“Thanks,” Minjun dabbed it on his arms, fans had sharp fingernails. Taecyeon started the ending speech, full of sincerity as always. Because even if fans may do things like this, they all couldn’t help but feel like they owe them a thanks for actually paying attention to them. 

“Thank you for attending, we are 2pm!” the boys chorused together and left the stage laughing and waving. Taecyeon frowned when he viewed Minjun, Junho and Wooyoung who all had been the victims of the fans’ grabby hands. Even Chansung had a few scratches on his arm but not nearly as much as those three. Minjun had tried to stop Junho (and Wooyoung who quickly followed) from going that close to the fans and ended up being caught in the crowd himself. He shook his head, and once again the wish for a leader crossed his head. 

The pang of pain he felt must’ve shown because Nichkhun gave him another worried look, Minjun quickly conjured a smile to relax the foreign man. What was done was done, the oldest reminded himself, the responsibility was on him and he could not run away from this. Not like he’d want to ever leave his family. 

“Come on, Taecyeon said he has some announcement,” Wooyoung bumped against Minjun, gentle smile and a spot of smudged blood on his cheek. The elder used the clean part of his napkin and wiped it away before being tugged along into the large van which the group used for transport most of the time. They filed in, Minjun ending up at the back along with Taecyeon and Junho. Everyone seemed to be riding out a high as the adrenaline from the concert faded. The maknaes talked enthusiastically and Minjun was reminded of the age gap between him and them, it may be only two years but a lot can change in two years. Then finally, just as the van started to move the air conditioning took away the sweat beads on everyone’s foreheads, Taecyeon cleared his throat and called for attention. 

“We’re all meeting for lunch tomorrow, yes?” Taecyeon waited for each member to nod or hum before continuing. “Well, I thought- I mean- Jaebum hyung will be joining us.”

Silence hung in the air as each member looked at Taecyeon with disbelief. Minjun’s eyes narrowed, this was sudden, and suspicious. And why was he not told about any of this before? After the man in question had left 2pm, Minjun and Taecyeon had  _ both _ filled his place and former position unofficially, but it was known between the group as well as the fanbase. 

“What?” Chansung finally broke the lingering quiet, there was no expression on his face aside from the small light in his eyes. That single word broke the dam and everyone was spilling out their questions (suspicions in Junho’s case) and thoughts. 

“It’s been a while, we’ve all matured a little. It’ll be nice to reconnect,” Taecyeon shrugged, answering Minjun’s unvoiced question of  _ why? _

“Don’t you think we should’ve known about this before?” Minjun asked, there was a venomous taste in his mouth as he spoke but thankfully no one paid it any attention. He had to get his feelings under control, he should be glad that Taecyeon was reaching out, should be glad that he would be able to properly see Jay again. And he was, he was actually proud in some way. But there in a little garden residing at the back of his mind, a small fern of envy had been planted (by whom it didn’t matter) and he had a hard time burying it. 

“I just, I didn’t know if everyone was going to agree and I really wanted you all to give it a chance,” Taecyeon grimaced. “Sorry,”

“It’s quite a surprise,” Junho muttered, his stance was wary just as he thought about the problem and Minjun couldn’t blame him when he felt the same. The both of them were the ones most equated with the idea of family, protective too, and this man -while always there with them somehow- had left that family. It had been a slow retreat, promises of keeping in touch as contact got less and less while the new dynamic clicked into place permanently, each of them covering the gap that Jaebum had left after accepting this was not temporary. 

“Why are you all so glum?” Wooyoung frowned at their frowns, and with his next sentence his face brightened in an attempt for them to mirror his optimism as he had mirrored their pessimism. “This is great! Plus, it’s all casual so there’s nothing to be worried about here,”

“You’re right, we should look forward to this happily,” Chansung eagerly agreed, and that was enough to convince Nichkhun to give up his pensive face. 

Wooyoung nudged Minjun, giving an encouraging smile. Minjun tried to imitate his look, but he must’ve failed as Wooyoung grabbed his hands and gave him a squeeze. The older man had missed having him around, Wooyoung’s schedule was so busy he hardly got to spend off time with the rest of the members. And when he did, he was usually coerced into sleeping because damn the kid was tired. Minjun shook his head, a small smile forming on his face. He was only two years older, perhaps people were right to call him a ‘grandpa’. Wooyoung pulled away as Minjun’s face lost the tightness it held. 

“He knows we’re all going to be there, right?” Junho’s cautious voice filtered in. Taecyeon nodded vigorously, full of energy now that everyone seemed to be past their negative thinking phase, well mostly. 

“He’s looking forward to it,” Taecyeon said softly. Minjun didn’t miss the fondness that took over his eyes and smile, he and Nickhun had been closest to Jaebum. Said by Jaebum himself after he left. Minjun had tried to be understanding, he couldn’t be the best for everyone, but it had hurt him that Jaebum hadn’t even mentioned him when he thought that they had a special bond from being the two oldest of the group. Of course, Jaebum would’ve coordinated with Taecyeon about this. Of course…

This was getting out of hand,  _ he _ was getting out of hand. Minjun squared his shoulders and joined in the current conversation which had fortunately steered away from their former leader. He let the grin beginning on his face take over and welcomed the happiness as he joked around with his members. 


	3. External Forces Dampen You (& Everything Around You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wooyoung likes this.

Wooyoung has a lot of fanboys. It was sort of surprising, because he expected Taecyeon and Junho to cover the largest demographics, even Nichkhun. So to say he was in shock when JYP pulled up the chart was an understatement, because he was more popular than in everyone, in a field which he didn’t even know he wanted to be popular in. Last he remembered, Khun had actually been most popular there, why had that changed?

Of course the rest of the members all laughed at him and teased him to no end, but he assumed it would all go away in a few days or a week. They’d forget about it and move on. But no, as soon as the members had gone past it, his manager was strolling in and announcing that they must be more open towards their fans. Specifically, their male ones. Chansung let out a giggle, eyes fixated on Wooyoung as he repeated the words. “Gotta focus on the male part too,” the younger patted his hyung on the back. Minjun had coughed to hide his laugh but he was the only polite one in the group, aside from Nichkhun of course who had been doing some interview at the time. 

That’s how the conversation between them and Jaebum started. They all had sat down at a cafe, quite awkwardly and there was some plain small talk. Which was something Minjun and Taecyeon excelled at, for some reason they fell short today though. He stifled a yawn, yesterday had been a slightly late night but it was fine. It was all fine. 

Jaebum met his eyes, eyebrows raised at his yawn and something flickering in his eyes. Wooyoung paled, he hoped he didn’t offend Jaebum, it’s just he’d always been weak considering health and this schedule wasn’t doing him any good. 

But before Wooyoung could even open his mouth, Taecyeon blurted out. “Wooyoungie has the most male fans,”

There was a beat of silence as Wooyoung glared at his hyung. “Seriously?”

“Would it be weird if I say I’m not that surprised?” Jaebum’s voice came out cautious, very cautious, but there was still that hint of confidence and amusement. Especially considering the upward quirk of the corners of his lips. 

“Excuse me?” Wooyoung narrowed his eyes, but he didn’t want to make the other man feel uncomfortable so he allowed a tiny smile to break through. 

Jaebum shrugged, and then Junho piped up. “It’s ‘cause you look like a girl,”

“Yah!” Wooyoung whined, he would throw something at the other boy but they were in a public place, his only defense was his words, and maybe Minjun. “You’re the girly one in this group, you’re like another mom!”

“That means I’m a woman, you’re still the  _ girl _ !”

“Aish, this is why we don’t go out to eat often,” Nichkhun groaned, but there was a smile playing on his lips. Jaebum let out a small laugh at the bickering, his previously tense posture loosening up a little. Wooyoung supposed he wouldn’t mind being embarrassed if this was the outcome.

“You guys are kids,” Chansung said. 

“You’re the youngest!” Taecyeon pointed out. 

“Not in the mind,” Chansung tapped the side of his head and then received a wack from Junho, who had always taken a liking to beating up his members. Things became way more social after that as the members continued to talk. Jaebum was talking, not a lot, but it was still something. They wouldn’t be able to fix this broken relationship in one lunch. 

Their schedule was cleared for the rest of the day, they had only gotten the news yesterday night. Wooyoung wondered if he should mention it now, in front of Jaebum, perhaps they could spend the rest of the day together also. Well not for him, he still had to go to the dance studio for a little while but that was at around seven, plenty of time left. But would everyone be comfortable with the idea of spending the day with Jaebum? Would  _ Jaebum _ be comfortable with  _ them _ ? He eyed the bruise on his forearm as he thought about his idea, brushing his fingers lightly over the purple coloured skin. Dance practice had been brutal to him as of lately, he’d been having to go extra hours to learn tricks, to choreograph and that on top of 2pm’s schedule where they were learning more ‘hardcore’ dances to appeal to the ‘entire’ audience, AKA the male fans. But it was worth it, it was all going to be worth it in the end. 

He honestly couldn’t wait for the end, where he’d get to lie down on a bed and calmly go to sleep early with the knowledge that his fans were satisfied, his management was satisfied, his  _ members _ were satisfied. For now, he just had to wade through the murky waters. Wooyoung yawned again, but this time he made sure to do it discreetly so no one would notice. It was a happy moment, he wasn’t going to let his sore body which really wasn’t even that sore, stop him. 

“Your schedule is cleared too, right?” suddenly Minjun asked Wooyoung, the rest of the members looked at him expectantly, including Jaebum who had an odd analysing look in his eyes. 

“Sure,” Wooyoung replied, he pursed his lips as their attention stayed on him. “Why?”

“We’ll hang out after lunch too, weren’t you listening?” Minjun answered. 

“What is this, school?” Chansung teased Minjun’s choice of words. Wooyoung grinned and joined in as several of the members tried to imitate the poor eldest, well eldest of the current group as Jaebum was also here. Speaking of the former leader, he had changed. Wooyoung observed the other man’s gruffer voice, his hardened appearance and sharp movements not only in dance but in real life. The way his hand moved to grasp his cup of coffee or to hold his fork, the veins that bulge and the rough edges of his fingers. 

Wooyoung tilted his head, the former leader, he had changed. 

They finished lunch more quickly, now that they knew they had the rest of the day they didn’t want to waste time eating food. Though no member would admit that. They all packed up and set off down the street, chattering animatedly on their way to the bowling alley which they decided they would spend some time in. 

Wooyoung tried to project the same energy, but the toll of last week’s high level practice was finally on him. He fell a little behind, head down but with a bright smile, because how couldn’t he smile? It had been a while since they’d all hung out like this. Jaebum, being one of the more quiet ones, fell into step with him and they both walked a little away from the five others. The shorter man looked pointedly at the bruise on Wooyoung’s arm, and then with squinted eyes that struggled to mask the concern in his irises. Wooyoung smiled back, and put a little bounce in his step to take off the serious tone which Jaebum’s stance had taken. “Everything’s fine,”

“You look tired Wooyoung-ah,” Jaebum voiced with sad eyes surrounded by dark circles and a forlorn feeling that adorned the shape of his mouth. 

Wooyoung gulped, the genuinity of Jaebum’s voice had surprised him and he hadn’t a response nor physical reaction to acknowledge the other’s words. It took him a moment, but he opened his mouth. “Everything is fine,” he repeated. 


	4. Again and Again (and Again and Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chansung can't keep these thoughts away.

Chansung didn’t know what to think. Of course, he was happy that Jaebum was with them for their day off. But Jaebum didn’t want to talk to him, he could feel it. The only reason Jaebum, or any of the others for that matter, really talked to him was because they had been conditioned to. Hyungs always had to care for their dongsaengs, it didn’t mean they wanted to. 

Ah, there were those thoughts again. Constantly piercing his mind like sharp blades and making all what he had pushed away come bleeding out. It was easier to be happy when these thoughts didn’t muddle his mind with their toxicity. The bowling alley was pretty empty when they finally reached it, it wasn’t a well known one but it was a favourite among JYP idols. Minjun patted him on the back as he passed by with Taecyeon to check in, flashing him a warm smile. Chansung realized that perhaps his confused mind was showing on his face, he schooled his face into a more neutral expression, then happy once Wooyoung made another joke. What’s the point of being sad when you can be happy?

He was the maknae, he had to be able to lift his members spirits, be a loving dongsaeng. Though he was failing at most parts, he will enjoy teasing and pranking his older members.

“You look oddly contemplative,” Nichkhun mused as they entered the dimly lit bowling alley. His dark hair was swooped over his forehead in that classic flower boy style.

“You’re rubbing off on me,” Chansung grinned, the red light from a neon sign washed over Nickhun’s pale skin as he let out a small laugh. The younger man watched as his members split off into teams, himself being pulled in by Wooyound and Junho as they once again decided on maknaes versus hyungs. ‘Old men’ versus ‘young men’. Chansung grinned, as the familiar words crossed his head. “You’re gonna get crushed hyung,”

Nichkhun rolled his eyes at him but there was that gentle smile still on his face. Taecyeon answered instead, flexing his biceps and grinning proudly. “Yeah well it’s four versus three now, and I’m practically two people so five versus three.”

“Yeah but you’re  _ old _ ,” Wooyoung shot back good naturedly. He grasped Chansung’s hand and held it up with pride. “Chansung also counts for two people,”

Chansung let out a small laugh and pulled his hand back, the only reason Wooyoung was happy to have the maknae was because he wanted to win. Chansung pushed down the thought, under rubble and he made sure to pour cement over it to keep it there. They were friends, Wooyoung loved Chansung as much as he loved the other. His mouth formed a straight line as he repeated the previous line over and over in his head, determined to believe it. 

“I’ll go first!” Taecyeon jumped up when the game started, he grabbed a bowling ball and took his time swinging his arm back and forth as he tried to aim. Junho started jeering at him in an attempt to distract him which was met by Minjun talking back which in the end just created even more noise. Chansung couldn’t help the warm feeling that grew in his chest, they were jerks but they were his family and he wouldn’t trade them for anything. Even if they’d trade him. When Taecyeon finally went for it, he grazed the side and about half of the pins fell. Junho and Chansung fell to the floor laughing at their hyung’s confidence while the older members got defensive “we’ll get you next time, that was us being good hyungs,”. 

“Chansung you go,” Wooyoung lightly pushed him towards the alley. Chansung sucked in a breath as he picked up a bowling ball, Junho’s hands patted his shoulders pressing down the pressure of doing good. The younger (yet taller) braced himself, setting his eyes a little too sharply and a little too seriously on the middle pin. 

“Lets go!” Junho and Wooyoung shouted. 

“You’re going to fail,” Taecyeon sing-songed, all in good nature of course. But after a smack from both Junho and Minjun he kept quiet. 

_ You’re going to fail.  _

Chansung gulped, trying to clear his head. It was too late, their voices came in telling him to just play the ball. So he swung back his arm getting into position.  _ You’re going to fail.  _ He started the graceful ark, fingers sweat and slippery against the black, heavy bowling ball.  _ You’re going to fail.You’re going to fail. You’re going to fail. You’re going to fail.  _ The ball left his hand jerkily and the dread settled in his stomach.  _ You’re going to fail.  _ Not settled, more like it was doing cartwheels and trying to launch itself up his throat.  _ You’re going to fail. You’re going to fail. You’re going to fail.  _ The ball curved towards the left, taking out four pins. One less than Taecyeon’s. 

He took in a deep breath, god he wanted to kill his brain sometimes. He knew it was just a joke, why did it trick his thoughts? 

“Nice try man,” Junho and Wooyoung’s smiles were genuine and set off a small bloom of hope within his chest. He really was overthinking, he always was, he just didn’t know how to stop. He couldn’t control his own mind and it frustrated him to no end. 

Taecyeon was suddenly in front of Chansung, eyes glazed with concern. “You okay?” Chansung forced his head to nod and swallowed another breath of air. It was Nichkhun’s turn, the thai shot a playful glare at the younger members as he grabbed a ball. Taecyeon gulped awkwardly, Chansung didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. “You know I meant the comment as a joke, right? You could never fail in my eyes,”

A pause.

Chansung cracked a smile as his eyes lit up. “You’re so cheesy, hyung,” Taecyeon’s straight posture relaxed as he lightly shoved the younger, not even enough to move him. “I think the K-dramas have influenced you too much,” 

“Brat,” Taecyeon replied fondly, he gave him a quick hug and then they moved back towards their respective teams. Chansung’s eyes fell on Jaebeom, they hadn’t talked to each other much today. Though he really wanted to, he had looked up to the leader a lot when they had still been training together. He’d looked up to all the members really, but the former leader gained a special platform in his mind. Chansung racked his head trying to figure out how to approach the other man. He was immature and mischievous with his members, but he hadn’t talked to Jaebeom in a while. Not to mention he didn’t want to overload the other man, who did seem a little overwhelmed ever since he joined his former group at lunch. 

He squared his shoulders and tried to nonchalantly make his way over to the other group. Throwing some jabs at the team to further show normalcy, though Jaebeom’s amused smile said that Chansung didn’t really convince him.

And that was okay. 

Chansung didn’t need to convince him, they just needed to converse. If Jaebeom didn’t want to talk to him, well he would back off of course, but there’s no way he would know if he didn’t actually go for it. And would you look at that, Jaebeom’s the one that initiated it. “How have you been Chan?”


	5. Not Thoughts of Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taecyeon's turn!
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter.

“Did you like it?” Taecyeon’s voice and eyes were full of unrestrained hope. He nervously grinned at Jaebeom, trying not to set his expectations for the answer high. They had finished the day, Wooyoung leaving early to go do some work with the members disapproving yet concerned stares following him as he left. Jaebeom at the time, had a calculating gaze from weary eyes which Taecyeon didn’t think would be appropriate to ask about at the time. 

“I missed this,” Jaebeom’s smile was genuine, Taecyeon knew the difference between this smile and the one he would put on just for the sake. He knew this smile was _it_ , and it made him feel like there were fluffy clouds inside his stomach lifting him towards the sky. He also knew that the other members overheard Jaebeom’s answer, and he also knew that _they_ knew what this smile meant. After all, even if the other members were standing a little bit away with their heads down, they couldn’t hide the aura of warmth they were emanating. Like a furnace, no, that seemed harsh. Like a fireplace. He truly did feel at home with his members, and he didn’t want to leave. Jaebeom frowned at his change in demeanor and Taecyeon reminded himself that people were watching his face fall. He brightened again because this was a bright moment. 

“Would you consider doing it again?” Taecyeon asked, and he could feel the other members play even closer attention now, their ears perking up and eyes not very discreetly glancing at the pair. 

“You’re asking as if we just went on a date,”Jaebeom snorted, the hint of what he had used to be with them resurfacing after all those years. “Sure, man. I’d like it,”

The other members all released a breath and there was a wistful smile on their faces, only after they spent the entire day together would Jaebeom retain the snarky part of his personality. They quickly shuffled away now, relieved at Jaebeom’s answer and finally willing to give the two privacy. Jaebeom snorted at their actions but the fond light in his eyes wasn’t missed by Taecyeon. He looks at the man standing in front of him now, his black hair swooping down his forehead and that western way and the piercings on his ears glinting from the lights on the street. Taecyeon doesn’t know what made him confess, made him say what he hadn’t even said to his members yet. “People want me to leave 2pm,” 

“What?” Jaebeom now was truly taken aback, a feat which hardly anyone had succeeded in. 

“To just act, it’s my parents and agent and even JYP doesn’t mind it as long as I’m with them,” Taecyeon stared at the floor, kicking the small bits of gravel and rocks on the sidepath. He examined the lines that criss crossed themselves to cement the pattern etched in the floor. Jaebeom was quiet, probably thinking, because he actually thought before he spoke. 

“Taecyeon, do you really want to leave?” Jaebeom spoke slowly, but his voice was sturdy, carrying the same confidence he executed through his body posture. Taecyeon shook his head, but then paused. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted. Jaebeom nodded sympathetically, except not exactly that because Jay wasn’t sympathetic most of the time, he was empathetic. Perhaps that’s why Taceyeon had said this to him, because in his mind he was still holding on to leader Jaebeom. But it wasn’t Jaebeom’s responsibility to listen to him anymore, to give him advice or to talk to the other members about this. Taecyeon was in over his head and he despised it, he didn’t want to rely on someone who wasn’t there to share the burden. 

“Talk to your members, man,” Jaebeom breathed out softly, he opened his mouth again but a sound didn’t come out until a few seconds later. “Don’t… What I’ve learnt is don’t let anyone else decide for you, it’s your choice.”

Jaebeom may not be the leader anymore, but damn it he could relax Taecyeon’s mind in a way that only someone with the leadership could. It didn’t matter if Jay said it with his dry husky voice or the more nasally toned one, he made Taecyeon stand taller. Taecyeon would try, he would really try to make this decision by himself, but he had always been a little bit of a people pleaser. Jaebeom saw him contemplating, and as always, he was right that it was time for all of them to depart. He gave each member a quick side hug along with a reassuring squeeze for Taecyeon, which was pleasantly surprising. Jaebeom was not the most tactile person and the half-hugs were the most he’d usually ever done, this shouldn’t have grounded Taecyeon as much as it did. He squared his shoulders, plastering a goofy smile on his face as to not dampen the high his members were currently in as they made their way back to their dorms. 

“I’m glad you did this,” Minjun was the one to murmur it to him, wide smile that exuded the same energy as Jaebeom’s. The eldest often had a lot to shoulder, and Taecyeon had only tried to help him by taking some of that load. It didn’t look like it was working though, Minjun and him hadn’t talked in a long while. 

“Yeah, I agree,” Nichkhun patted Taecyeon’s back, the thai looked sort of regal in the streetlight. He was the best dressed out of all of them today, a white shirt and black trousers, which weren’t really that fancy but compared to everyone else’s pants and t-shirts. He truly looked like a prince. Taecyeon didn’t hesitate to voice his thoughts out, if anyone who had ever thought something good about him actually said it to his face, he would feel much happier than he did in the present. Nichkhun rolled his eyes but the other could see him glowing, definitely regal, his skin was like a halo. Taecyeon now had to cringe at his words as well, he loved his friends but apparently his thoughts loved poetry more. 

He did have a tendency to exaggerate. But it was so much easier to be happy when every small good thing was suddenly amplified. Mediocre was a worse feeling to him than bad, just enough wasn’t enough for happiness. 


	6. He Moves In Mysterious Ways

“Come in Nichkhun,”

The thai in question composed himself, patting down his silver suit and dark hair, before entering his manager’s office. Except it wasn’t his manager sitting in the large cushioned chair, instead an american man with thinning hair and a guarded expression had his hands clasped on the glass table. Nichkhun opened his mouth to question but the man spoke before. 

“Sorry, your manager is out today,” the man said in korean with a heavy accent, though he seemed comfortable enough in the language that the accent shouldn’t have been that prominent. 

“Who are you?” Nichkhun hadn’t meant for it to come out so rude, so he quickly stuttered over his words to actually say that. He didn’t stutter, this man’s presence was overwhelming. Speaking of the man, he didn’t seem offended at all. He just tilted his head to the side, and his naturally narrow eyes seemed to examine the idol as if he was looking at a particularly puzzling art piece. Nichkhun waited for an answer, when he didn’t get one for two minutes, he started tapping his foot in an attempt to signal the other man to speak. The man raised his eyebrows but finally responded.

“I am your stand-in manager,” the man said. Looking at Nichkhun’s unimpressed look he added, “For the entire group,”. Nichkhun still waited, fixing a polite yet ‘go on’ look on the man to coax him into saying his name “Name’s TT,”

“TT,” Nichkhun tested out the name, it sounded like a stage name for an idol, perhaps this man was more invested into korean culture then he looked like. 

“Trevor Tate,” TT further supplied, giving a professional smile as if he was just checking in on employees. Trevor gestured to the seat in front of him energetically, before snapping back to his previous positions with his hands together on the table and proper, yet relaxed posture. He truly acted like someone in the american music industry, but Nichkhun was sure there was more to the man than the way he acted. Trevor’s actions were calculated and precise, he would make a good dancer, Nichkhun mused as he sat down and was eye level with the other man. “Tell me about your members,”

“Huh,” Nichkhun felt dumb at his response, but he was surprised at the question. Why did this strange, new man want to know about his members?

“I want to get a feel of who I’m working with, you know?” Trevor must’ve seen his skepticism. The man may be speaking korean flawlessly (except the accent) but his vocabulary still seemed very western. Not that it was a bad thing, but Trevor seemed to keep contradicting whatever information Nichkhun gathered or assumed. He shook his head, it didn’t feel right to judge a random stranger who had probably been handpicked by JYP himself.

“Who do you want to know about?” despite Nichkhun battling to get rid of his judgemental thoughts, he couldn’t keep the dry tone out of his voice. Again, he shot an apologetic smile which went unnoticed by Trevor. 

“Let’s start with Ok Taecyeon, he’s a beast of a man.” Trevor only murmured the last part but Nickhun laughed anyway. 

“Taecyeon’s devoted to this group, he may seem like he’s goofing off but he’s quite responsible actually,” Nichkhun couldn’t help the warm facial expression that slipped on to his face. His members were like family to him, and when thinking of them there was always a little bit of pride that spread from his chest to his head and toes and the tips of his fingers. Even when he was teasing them, or mad at them, it was hard to ignore how attached he had grown to them. 

“So like the leader?” Trevor questioned, there was no hint of any sort of feeling on the american’s face aside from a sharp look in his eyes. 

Nichkhun frowned at the question, pausing to think. “No,” he said slowly, finger still tapping his chin. “We don’t have a leader, we did once but he left.” Trevor didn’t seem surprised, he barely moved in his position aside from his eyes which continuously examined Nichkhun’s every move. The man seemed more like a disconnected psychologist than a manager. Nichkhun cleared his throat, and strived to talk again, he wasn’t a fan of awkward pauses. “But if we did have to pick a leader, it would probably be him or Minjun as they are the ones who take the lead most often.”

“Kim Minjun,” Trevor tested out the word, glancing at a small paper that was encircled by his hands therefore hiding it from Nichkhun’s view. “The oldest, yes, please tell me about him next.”

“As you may know, age is pretty important here in Korea,” Nichkhun started. His lips twitched up as he thought about how much the country had become a home to him, of course Thailand was still in his heart. But lately, it seemed like Korea had also carved a small nook there after years of learning the culture and living there it almost seemed like Nichkhun had just just simply grown up here. Almost. “So he takes it as a responsibility to look after the group, he’s always there making sure everything and everyone is doing fine. He could be the leader as equally as Taecyeon,”

“Rivalry,” Trevor murmured. 

“No,” Nichkhun’s eyebrows drew together, he wasn’t often this abrupt, he liked to take his time with his words. “There is no rivalry, because there is no leader. They both are on an equal footing and none above the other overall,”

“You seem defensive,” Trevor raised an eyebrow at Nichkhun’s version of an outburst. The latter shook his head, and asked whether he should continue or talk about someone else. Trevor didn’t reply for a while, as if still processing the information he had gotten and mentally jotting it down somewhere in his brain. Then he looked at the paper again, eyes going up and down from top to bottom. “Lee Junho, he’s quite popular.”

“Junho can be like a mother and a kid. He’s an enigma, he’s fiercely protective of family.” Nichkhun recalled the glare Junho had fixed on Jaebeom when he was leaving, it hadn’t been out of actual anger (at least Nichkhun thought) but instead it spoke of ‘why are you leaving? You’re breaking us,’. The betrayal had been clear on his face, yet Junho had never blamed Jay or any of the members for any of what had happened even if it still affected them to this day, such a long while later. “He doesn’t trust easy, but he’s not one to unnecessarily hate either, he’s reasonable even with his very strong feelings.”

“Jang Wooyoung,” Trevor says without pause this time, what an odd man. He glances at the small watch on his fair wrist. “Hurry,”

“He’s talented, but he’s exhausted. He’s also funny, he and Taecyeon would probably be the most humorous pair. Sometimes, you’d think he’s the maknae. He’s also sweet, and is ready to cheer up anyone, or just listen.” Nichkhun listed frantically, Trevor’s ‘hurry’ had startled him and he couldn’t help but quickly obey. 

“Hwang Chansung,”

“He may not seem like it, but he is the youngest. We look after him, he pranks but he can be very mature. He’s very good at concealing his feelings actually, and is like a rock. Sturdy and reliable, but he’s also like water, can slip through your fingers-”

“You really love analogies,” Trevor noted. Nichkhun blushed, it was a habit he’d developed from school. He’d been really good in english and his teacher had encouraged him to apply it to real life as well. Nichkhun had just been about to continue but Trevor wasn’t looking at him anymore, instead down at the paper though still his focus was lost. The man was thinking, his fingers clasped tightly together. Then he looked up and his blue eyes bore into Nichkhun’s. “What about you?”

“Me?” 

“Tell me about you as well,”

“I’m just me,” Nichkhun struggled to find words. Unlike the others, he….He didn’t have a set role, he was just, there. “I’m the polite, silent one, I suppose,”

Trevor cocked his head to the side and the Thai had a feeling that his unsureness didn’t go unnoticed. They sat there for a few minutes, in tense silence as Trevor once again seemed to be lost in thought and Nichkhun had joined him. Who was he? He didn’t even know himself, and all those years writing about himself in english had been erased from his mind. Even if they weren’t, he wasn’t the same person, was he?

“Well I have got to be somewhere,” Trevor stood up, took another look at his watch and then fixed a look on Nichkhun. “Thank you for your time.”


	7. The Strength Of Glass (Is Not Much)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I am sorry I could not write this well. It was hard for me to express Junho's view.

Junho wasn’t stupid, he could sense the tension in the room no matter how much others might try to bury it. Minjun had his eyes focused on a small book, though he hadn’t turned a page in five minutes and Taecyeon's hand was clenched so tightly around his phone that his knuckles were turning white. Chansung and Wooyoung had entered only about a minute ago, after their argument had taken a pause and both had sent a curious look to Junho about why no one was talking. Junho had signalled back for them to be patient, he feared if he said anything it would set off another chain reaction, but then again, they would have to solve this sooner or later. He hated that he had been there to witness this small crack in the glass wall that was their band, he also hated that he hadn’t done anything except saying ‘calm down’ until they both quieted and angrily breathed with their eyes fixed away from each other. 

“Did you guys know we have a temporary manager?” Nichkhun burst into the room, his polite composure now looked a little frazzled. He quickly paused though as he observed everyone in the room, sitting rigidly. “Uh,” his voice trailed off. 

“Um,” Wooyoung started cautiously, eyes darting around the room. “Didn’t JYP mention it in the last meeting? He said it was some foreigner,”

“Yeah, the guy calls himself TT,” Nichkhun snorted, Junho raised an eyebrow and his lips twitched. It wasn’t often that you got to see Nichkhun get so passionately disrupted by something or someone in this case. “He’s an american, I think, and he was asking me all these questions about who you guys are,”

“Isn’t that normal though? Managers usually do that,” Chansung, like Wooyoung, talked slowly and carefully. He looked towards Junho as he spoke, looking for any sign to stop. 

Junho loved his band, in fact, he put a lot of trust into this band. It had taken him a long while to get comfortable and accept the band as family, longer than Wooyoung and longer than Nichkhun. He wasn’t proud of it but, it wasn’t like he could control his own thoughts even if he might try to. Nichkhun nodded in response to Chansung, “There was something odd about him, though,”. Then it came to another silent pause as everyone looked at Taecyeon and Minjun, who hadn’t moved from their previous positions and now seemed to be extra into whatever the both were doing, which was trying to keep themselves under check by what Junho was seeing.

Nichkhun shifted from where he was standing and warily opened his mouth. “Hey guys, what happened?” 

Junho saw the storm coming as both Minjun and Taecyeon’s heads snapped up, they both glared at each other before turning towards Nichkhun and speaking at the same time. “Do you remember what tomorrow is?” This wasn’t going to go well. 

“Death day right?” Nichkhun’s eyebrows drew together. Junho winced at the mention of the nickname they had given to the interview and filming filled day that left practically no break for any of the boys. The topic of the two eldest koreans’ argument was just getting fuel now. Minjun whipped his head towards Taecyeon in a pointed look which the latter only chose to ignore. Wooyoung and Chansung seemed just as confused as the Thai, and again they looked towards Junho for information which he couldn’t provide them with as of the moment in fear of setting off an even larger bomb. 

“We call it ‘death day’, that’s all the proof that it’s too much and we need a break!” Minjun said aloud, though his gaze was fixed on Taecyeon. 

“It’s just one day! Once we get all our work done tomorrow we’ll have longer rest times and more publicity too,” Taecyeon snapped back. The realization of the argument dawned on the three members who hadn’t been in the room before when the first instance had happened. Junho’s hands curl into a fist as Taecyeon and Minjun’s fighting gets louder and louder, he needs to get away from this room. His heart feels like it’s hanging off a cliff and everyone is too preoccupied to save him, and when he falls, he falls into a deep ocean without anyone there.

“Cut it out, guys,” Nichkhun notices Junho’s distress, and the former can’t think of any time he’s ever loved the Thai more. “We can talk about this without getting on each other’s throats,”

“Yeah, I personally think it would be better if we went through with death day, then we have more days to recover,” Chansung piped in. 

“Really?” Nichkhun turned to face the youngest with raised eyebrows. “You can’t work out for four hours in one day and take a month break, it would be better to have a consistent schedule.” Chansung frowned but Minjun quickly voiced his agreement. _Oh no._ This was going to get worse. 

“This is a different situation,” Taecyeon growled, eyes small and ferocious. It seems like Nichkhun’s attempt at getting them to calm down had not worked for him and that in turn only aggravated Minjun further. Junho tried to take a deep breath, they were falling apart, he could see the cracks in the band, he had been for a while now. Would this be their breaking point? A pointless argument that was somehow causing them all to yell at each other, it seemed like too small of a thing to end them. If they were to end, they deserved to go out with something far larger than this stupid thing. Junho forced himself to stand up and open his mouth, but what would he say? What can he do to keep them altogether?

“We’re making this worse,” Wooyoung’s voice cut through the noise of the other members, all of their necks snapped towards him. Junho could see the man waver but nonetheless, he spoke on. And for a moment, Junho could feel that he was overthinking this band breakup, they’d had worse fights and it was only the ticking time bomb of Junho’s past that brought up these feelings. “We can talk about both of these ideas to our mana-”

“ _You’re_ talking,” Taecyeon scoffed. The second youngest of the band could feel the animosity crackling.

“You can’t even keep track of your own schedule, you’re the last one who gets to talk,” and this had to be the time that Minjun took Taecyeon’s side. Junho could feel anger bubbling inside of him, but he was restrained by the image of his family breaking once again. 

“I only wan-” Wooyoung tried to speak again, gulping and losing some of that composure he had previously held. 

“Keep it to yourself,” Minjun said sharply, overtaken by the fury the argument had caused. Chansung took a step towards Wooyoung, though he didn’t say anything, perhaps he was frozen like Junho was. 

“You can say it whenever you actually get your shit together,” Taecyeon barked. 

“Stop!” Junho’s hoarse voice finally spilled out, and the members all seemed to snap out of a trance as the fuzzy cloud of anger dissipated from their eyes. But Junho was too late, the crack had created a large gap and he had been too late to try and fix it. Wooyoung blinked, his mouth a straight line. Junho could see the immediate regret of Taecyeon and Minjun’s words on both of their faces, but as they opened their mouths, they were rendered quiet just like Junho himself had been.

Then, smoothly, Wooyoung got up and left the room without a word or any harsh look, neutrally, he closed the door seemingly unnoticing Minjun’s soft cry of ‘wait!”. The room was quiet then, Taecyeon buried his head into his hands and Minjun and Chansung both got on their feet. But Nichkhun sent them a look to be patient not unlike the one Junho had sent Woo and Chansung when they had questioned him about the tensity of the room, which only seemed to increase now. Junho looked at his tightly clenched fist, though somehow he couldn’t force them to unloosen. Finally, Chansung was the next one out the door, presumably rushing after Wooyoung. Then a while after, Nichkhun left. Sensing the talk that was about to take place between the oldest Koreans, Junho hastily got up. 

Then he left too. 


	8. The Sound Of Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minjun reflects and then he tries and then he reflects some more.
> 
> [Sorry for the wait, chapters will be coming in more slow nowadays]

Minjun knew what he did was a mistake, and he said so too. “I’m sorry,” was the first thing he blurted to Taecyeon when they were left alone. The other man looked taken aback and Minjun wondered for a second with shame burning in his heart, that did he really think that the oldest would not apologize? Even without all that went down, Minjun knew at one point he would let go of the fury in his heart and sincerely try to fix what he had unleashed. Though he didn’t expect that to come this way. Taecyeon apologized as well, as genuine as Minjun’s own. They both talked it through quite rapidly, wanting to get this moment over with so they could go wallow in their self-guilt. In the end, they decided to talk to the manager about both of their sides and let him make the decision. Wooyoung’s plan. 

_Wooyoung._

Minjun winced at just his name, he and Taecyeon had really teamed up against the younger boy. What they had said to him… Neither of them meant it, but let out their frustration at each other on another person. 

“We should really talk to Woo too, huh?” it seemed like Taecyeon had read his thoughts. Minjun nodded, letting out a deep sigh. It had been around twenty minutes since the other had left and Minjun wasn’t sure if it was too soon to approach Wooyoung. He voiced his concerns and Taecyeon nodded thoughtfully. “We should wait a little while then, maybe we can ask Nichkhun or something?”

“Yeah. Junho also looked shaken up,” Minjun rubbed his hand over his face. He’d really messed up, as the oldest, he should’ve been the one placating the fight not tending to the fire. The fact that he’d lost his composure and mind so easily, it troubled him. He really wasn’t fit to be able to watch over all of them if he was the one causing all their problems. He’d seen Chansung’s betrayed face as he’d said those words to Woo, and Nichkhun’s disapproving glare which pierced through Minjun’s heart. He groaned, how did he ever think he would be enough to help cover the hole which Jaebum had left? Looking around the empty couches in the room and the aftershock still reverberating through his mind, the guilt only sank further. “We really messed up,”

Taecyeon let out a cynical chuckle though the responsibility of the misconduct was evident in his face. Minjun wouldn’t let him deal with it alone, this was both of their faults, and secretly he felt it was more of his for not being able to get it all under control. 

“Let’s find Junho first,” Minjun said when Taecyeon didn’t answer, the other man looked up at him from where he was sitting with glistening eyes. Minjun blanched at the sight, and suddenly he was at a loss to do. He held out his hand out of instinct and mentally berated himself, Taecyeon was in need of comfort not whatever this was. But regardless, Taecyeon grasped Minjun’s hand, a little too tightly but the latter didn’t say anything and hauled the taller man up. The older gave him a squeeze before they left the room still holding hands. They had been in one of the company’s many wings, this one specifically dedicated to 2pm. Not that it meant anything, wings were usually just some meeting rooms, practice rooms, and few other things. Minjun hardly thought anyone would stick around and not go back to the dorms but he decided to check anyway. There was no one in any of the rooms, well one practice room was locked so they couldn’t really check, it must’ve been under maintenance, they concluded and headed home. 

Somehow along the way, their hands had drifted apart and Minjun found himself missing the warmth of someone who was in the same boat as him. He knew more of the responsibility was on him, and he was ready to shoulder that, but it felt nice to know that he wasn’t alone in this experience. They entered the dorm to an empty living room and kitchen with all the doors in the hallway shut. Both of them exchanged a look and parted ways, heading to different doors. It was understood that they did not want to overwhelm anyone.

Minjun didn’t know whose room he had entered, the lines between each of their beds and rooms had long ago blurred and the only thing that reminded them of what was theirs was wardrobes and bathroom supplies. He found Chansung and Nichkhun inside, so that meant Taecyeon was with Junho or Wooyoung, or both. He knew he shouldn’t, but Minjun secretly wished that the other man wasn’t with Wooyoung yet, they should both apologize together as to not cause even more of a rift between them. The oldest knew what had caused the fight to escalate in such a way, and the problem wasn’t Taecyeon, it was him. He had let his… what? Jealousy? Insecurity? Whatever it was, it had bested him and left him crawling to make up. Now he saw Chansung and Nichkhun, who both looked at him with unimpressed looks and left him grimacing, good, he deserved that. He gulped, and with as much genuinity he could muster, “I’m sorry,”

They both didn’t look surprised, but their more negatively charged ‘neutral’ looks fell away to a more empathetic one. Nichkhun was the one to reply, not taking as much time as Minjun had assumed. They’d had worse fights. “We got too into it as well when we should’ve tried to help,”

“Only because of me-” Minjun hesitated, he didn’t want to trouble Taecyeon with his own shortcomings but he didn’t want the others to think the other man wasn’t just as sorry. “Us. We let it get too out of hand, and that’s completely our fault, and we won’t be able to get forgiveness soon. Even if you give it to us, we have to earn it first.” The sternness and determination in the last line had been surprising to even himself, Chansung and Nichkhun nodded and the gentle smile on Nichkhun’s face let Minjun knew that they had accepted his apology, but like he said, they would wait for him to earn his forgiveness from them, because that was different than understanding and accepting. Forgiving was another thing altogether. 

It felt too short, even though Minjun knew they had understood him and weren’t waiting or wanting more. But the oldest couldn’t throw away this nagging feeling. His eyes examined the room and paused on a guitar, his own, he grabbed it and sat down on the edge of one of the beds. He couldn’t do more with his words, so perhaps he should use something else. 

He was a composer, always. So he let his fingers slip between the strings and frets and let his soul guide the notes he played and strummed on the guitar. There were bits and pieces pulled into it from his own songs, from their songs, from other groups as well, and then there were bits which he pulled from his heart, hoping that these sounds could express what the ones that leave his mouth could not. And they did not need to soak in this song, they knew what his words were, but he felt a pull to establish. He doesn’t know how long he sat there, pulling and plucking and swiping and strumming, but in the end they were all washed over with a sense of calm and quietness which was odd, well it had been until this evening.

They’d had worse fights. 


	9. The Woes Of Being A Woe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys but the updates will be much slower, the tenth chapter is written but I won't post it till the eleventh chapter is finished. I have lots of work to catch up on, hope you guys understand!

It was stupid. 

They hadn’t even said anything bad. They’d only been saying the truth. He hadn’t done something horribly wrong, and this was on the smaller side of things compared to what other stuff he’d dealt with. So it was stupid that he was here, trying to dance away feelings that shouldn’t exist. 

Right after the... _ Fiasco _ . Wooyoung had left the room, found an empty practice room and locked it in his desire to be left alone. He needed to practice anyway, he was falling a bit behind on all dance work except 2pm’s because he’d made sure he’d completely get that first. He set some music on and started practicing a new song, then he’d moved on to focus on creating new choreographies because that was also part of his job now. Not only for 2pm, for himself, for special events inside the company. He wasn’t alone, though, there were others who’ll help him. But he had the time now, so why not try to get ahead of his work?

He snorted, as if that would ever happen. 

Dancing gave him an escape, he knew it was stupid to take those words to heart but his heart was a little stupid too. But as he spun and his arms and legs jutted out and he practically swayed across the room, he couldn’t help but feel a little calmer. 

The calm before the storm. 

The emotions hit in the middle of a contemporary choreo, a style he’d always had to put extra work into. The sudden assault of his own feelings left him precariously balancing on one foot with the rest of his body looming over the floor. He held his breath, blinking rapidly in an attempt to wave off the salty water forming in his eyes. They didn’t relent, and he blurrily watched as a small shiny teardrop hit the gleaming practice floor. 

Gasping, he swung himself backward but in a distraught mindset, he placed his other foot on the ground in a wrong way and ended up falling with a thunk on the beige ground. He jumped back up, and felt something wet make its way down his cheeks. Why was he crying? He wasn’t feeling bad, he’d heard worse. They’d been through worse. Why was this affecting him so much? He dropped to his knees as a bout of rage overtook him and he slammed his fists onto the floor. Wooyoung panted, the sides of his fists stinging and red though he’d only slammed it a few times, no more than six. He was sweating, more than he should’ve been after only an hour of practice. Why was he overreacting? _ What was wrong with him? _

He got up again, struggling a little more than last time. He should’ve brought a bottle of water with him, but unfortunately his stupid mind couldn’t think straight before and not now either. Logically, and even in his heart, he knew he shouldn’ bet, and he wasn’t, that offended by whatever they had said. He had no idea what was causing him to feel so overwhelmed. 

Wooyoung stretched his arm and upper body to grab his phone which had been casually tossed near a wall when he’d first entered. His limber fingers enclosed around the tough case and gripped it tightly. He examined his own grip through curious eyes, before a shake of his head, and a loosened fist. Wooyoung knew that he was more on the emotional half of the group, but that didn’t explain this strange outburst. Still, he could feel it weighing inside him as he tried to ward off the thoughts teetering on the edge of sadness and hurt. He opened his phone, there were personal texts from Chansung, Taecyeon and Minjun, the latter two asking to speak with him and the former asking where he was. Even on the group chat, they were asking where he was. He debated inside himself whether to respond or not, but in the end he didn’t want them to worry (or be burdened) so he sent a quick text to Chansung saying he was practicing. 

The man didn’t like lying, so Wooyoung got up and started the music again. He poured energy into every move, every little step, and still after ninety more minutes, the tears wouldn’t leave his eyes and he had no idea why. 

He collapsed with his back against the wall, eyes fluttering close to rest after he had upped the intensity in order to get these unexplainable feelings away.  _ He wasn’t hurt. He wasn’t sad. _ So why did he want to crawl into a hole, or more preferably, someone’s arms but that wasn’t going to happen because he  _ wasn’t _ sad. Wooyoung drew his knees together and got ahold of his phone once again. His limbs were aching and he really didn’t think he’d be able to practice just as hard tomorrow, it’s fine, the practice only made him better. 

He didn’t even bother to look at the messages as he opened his phone, it was getting late and he knew it. So he quickly opened up youtube, they were advised to not look at the comments but screw it. Wooyoung opened up 2pm’s latest performance and carefully analysed it. He and Taec had missed a beat there, Nichkhun shortcutted one move, he was positioned too far away, then he was too close… Wooyoung growled with frustration at watching himself perform, how could he ever want less practice time when he was like  _ that _ on stage? His dance was substantial, but there were details on the stage and something else was missing too. He had no idea what, perhaps he’ll ask the others, but there was some sort of spark missing. Woo felt adrenaline course through him and the need to get up and start dancing again. Glancing at the time, ten o’ clock, he sighed and repressed the feeling. He didn’t want to go back to the dorm yet but he didn’t want the others to worry. 

Wooyoung stood up too fast, his head spinning as he struggled to walk. He stood there for a few seconds, trying to get his bearings before moving again. He finally took a step and  _ uh oh. _ His knees buckled and black spots danced in his vision. Before he could do anything else, his eyes closed and the last thing he felt was his side hitting the cold hard floor. 

***

When Wooyoung awoke, it was too his ring tone blaring into his year. He groaned, curling up ready to go back to sleep. 

Except he wasn’t in bed.

His eyes shot open and here he was, on the dance room’s floor with the lights on and his phone right next to his ear. The man practically jumped up, only to regret it as his head spun. He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again to look at his phone. It was Eleven, had he been asleep for an hour? Not asleep, he knew he had fainted, but he also knew he wasn’t ready to accept it yet. So the Busan man heaved himself up, more carefully this time. The last call had been from Nichkhun, he’d just been about to call back when the screen lit up again, this time from Minjun. 

“Wooyoung? Where are you? I’m so worried, oh my god, you’re not hurt right?” Minjun’s voice frantically filtered through, Wooyoung felt a pang of guilt at the other’s babbling (and also a pang of appreciation for being cared about). 

“I lost track of time, I’m sorry,” Wooyoung tried his best to put as much genuinity as he could into the apology, he truly was sorry. He didn’t want to worry the others, that was the opposite of his intention. Minjun continued on to make sure he was okay, and Wooyoung didn’t even realize that he had lied about fainting. But the man didn’t mention it, he would not cause further distress to his band not when he’d already done this along with a busy schedule at other times too. “I’m heading home right now,”

“Do you want me to come pick you up? You’re in that locked practice room in the building right?” Minjun’s concern flitted through, at least his mind was off what happened earlier in the day. “Taec and I were checking the rooms before we left and one was locked and then Chansung-ah said you were practicing,”

“It’s okay, hyung,” the younger tried to sound cheery, which hopefully worked even though he grimaced through it. His head was pounding. “I’m coming and I’m fine.”


	10. To Be A Side Character

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chansung is only an amazing person, despite his beliefs. 
> 
> The queen of inconsistent chapter timings is back! Also, I am considering any pairing suggestions as I like too many to choose one for each character.

Chansung watched as the rest of his members paced the living room area. Minjun and Taecyeon had guilt written over their faces and Nichkhun a worried look. Junho, on the other hand, looked like he was goingt to murder someone. Which he might, and that someone may be Wooyoung. The maknae had been surprised when he found out that he was the only one Wooyoung had texted back, honestly, he thought he’d be the last choice. 

“Maybe if we’re all here, we would overwhelm him,” Chansung voiced, suddenly feeling a whoosh of appreciation for the other and wanting to pay him back in that same happiness which Wooyoung had given him by replying to only him. The man knew he was overthinking and that this was not the situation to be glad for this to occur, but he felt touched and there was a sort of giddiness in the back of his mind. Of course, he was a little worried for Wooyoung too because he had stayed back a long time and he had been ignoring all texts and calls for about an hour, but the man had said he was fine. Though that didn’t mean he actually was, Chansung spoke from experience. The others nodded in regards to what he’d said but no one made a move to leave. Chansung rolled his eyes but he determinedly said. “I’m staying,”

“I think Minjun and I should stay as well,” Taecyeon murmured, but it was more of a question. Nichkhun and Junho left, albeit a little stormy. Then Minjun moved to go after them to Taecyeon’s surprise, who grabbed the shorter’s wrist. “You’re good at this, you should stay,”

But Minjun gave a small smile and some exchange passed between them through their looks which Chansung could not decipher, and in the end it was him and Taecyeon waiting. 

“Sorry,” Taecyeon said, sincere eyes emphasizing the severity of his words. Chansung was taken aback, the other had already apologized before but nonetheless, the maknae gave him what he hoped was a relieving smile once again. They all made mistakes, especially him, he wasn’t going to hold it over someone else. “I get too much sometimes,”

Chansung’s mouth fell open, but he quickly recovered and said. “We all do hyung,”. His mind was suddenly whirling with those five words. The way Taec had said it wasn’t just self-awareness, it was sadness, how could Taecyeon ever believe that he ‘got too much’? How could he ever think of himself in that absolutely heart crushing tone of voice? Not when Taecyeon was amazing, he was responsible, funny, talented, the list was endless. And seeing his hyung’s ashamed face, Chansung wanted to grab him by the shoulders and yell those words loud enough that they would be serrated into his mind. But Chansung didn’t want to be an inconvenience, and he was probably overthinking, as he always did. 

Few seconds passed by and the youngest couldn’t just stay there, yet he couldn’t make himself do what he wanted to do. “You’re amazing,”

Taecyeon’s head snapped up in surprise. “Yeah, you better have heard it because I’m never saying that again,” Chansung quickly covered his previous statement, his ears burning, why did he have to be so bad at this? He was only ruining it. But even if he sucked, at least the grin on Taecyeon’s face made up for it. 

“I’ll never forget it, don’t worry,” Taecyeon tried to give him a smirk, but a sincere smile made its way through and Chansung had to remind himself the smile wasn’t because of him. Taecyeon had just had a down moment, but like always, the man had lifted himself up because he was resilient like that. Chansung couldn’t bear to take Taec’s credit. They talked now for a little while, Taecyeon was chatty as always and Chansung didn’t want to disappoint him but it’s not like he minded talking either. They continued until a small creak drew their attention away. 

Wooyoung entered all sweaty and nervous, he darted inside and shot them a sheepish smile as they gave him a deadpan stare. Chansung raised both his eyebrows as Wooyoung tightly clenched hands around his phone but his look went unnoticed as he always did. 

“Oh, we’ve got to talk,” Taecyeon boomed but then immediately a regretful facial expression took over. “Sorry that sounded more responsible brother like in my head,” Wooyoung let out a shake laugh, he walked over to them slowly as if weighing each step. Taecyeon didn’t even wait for the other to talk before rambling out an apology, and it sounded so heartfelt that Chansung felt like he was intruding on an exchange that should happen between the two older men. But then would he look like a douche if he left? He might, he didn’t want to, he wasn’t one. At least he thought he wasn’t one. 

“It’s okay, I just lost track of time,” Wooyoung said as Taec finished, he flashed a wide smile (albeit a little too stretched according to Chansung) but it did seem genuine. They hugged once and Chansung awkwardly shifted on his feet, unsure of why he had decided to stay back in the first place when he wasn’t going to contribute anything. 

“Oh wait, I have to call the manager about this other thing, I’ll be back,” Taecyeon excused himself, eyes showing a spark of sadness but it was gone so quick Chansung was sure he was projecting onto the other man. Wooyoung turned towards the maknae, still bright but there was something going on. Chansung had been apprehensive before but now he could tell through his thick skull that there was something wrong. Wooyoung’s posture was a little too rigid, his forehead a little too sweaty, his fingers a little too fidgety and his eyes a little too droopy. Something had happened, something which the other had failed to mention or purposely not mentioned. Chansung fought within himself whether he should ask or not, he didn’t want to be pushy, but before he could completely decide his body blurted out the words. 

“What happened?”

Wooyoung seemed taken aback, losing some of the tension in his composure before returning to normal. “I don’t kn-”

“Really?” Chansung was a little shocked at his own forwardness, but it seemed to be working, he hoped. Wooyoung opened his mouth, then closed it, deep in thought. Chansung’s breath quickened, he had messed it all up, hadn’t he. He always did, he really needed to think before he spoke because otherwise here he was, being a complete douche. The only thing that snapped him out of his deprecating stupor was Wooyoung’s hesitant voice. 

“Okay, don’t tell anyone,” Wooyoung’s eyes glanced at the hallway which Taecyeon had disappeared down. “Junho told me he’d flay me if I hide stuff, I may have fell asleep during dancing,”

“Fell asleep?” the look on Chansung’s face was incredulous. “You mean fainted?”

Wooyoung didn’t say anything and panic flared up in Chansung, had he pushed too much? But at the same time, yah his hyung acted younger than him. Chansung didn’t care if Wooyoung disliked him now, the older’s safety was on the line. Wooyoung winced as Chansung’s disappointed look landed its mark on him. Chansung doubtedly spoke, then firmer. “I won’t tell anyone without your permission, but you are in trouble.”

“I’m still your hyung, Chansungie.” Wooyoung used a commanding tone but the youngest knew he didn’t mean it so seriously and was only trying to counter Chansung’s tone. The maknae receded, he didn’t like sounding like a dad, it felt weird. But still, he was legitimately concerned about the other’s wellbeing. He knew Wooyoung was exhausted from his schedule but this was… Chansung just wanted to wrap the older man in blankets and _do_ _something good_ for him for once. 

He shook his head, and started speculating how to go about his plan only to be met with Wooyoung’s teasing look which promptly led to preponing the plan. 


	11. Decisive Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slightly late update. I hope the next one comes sooner because I'm really excited to post Nichkhun's chapter!

Taecyeon grimaced as he heard the other voice on the phone call. His agent barked at him through the phone and the idol regretted leaving Chansung and Wooyoung behind just to get a lecture. “I’m still not sure yet,”

“Not sure yet?” his agent’s cynical voice filtered through. “This could be your biggest acting job!”

The wind was breezy enough that it swept inside the small extra room through the large window. The room was empty, they used it to rehearse when they weren’t able to go to the practice rooms in the JYP building. Taecyeon was forced to remind himself, his agent was just looking out for him before he spoke calmly. “If I take up this, it will most likely get in the way of 2pm’s schedule,”

His agent let out a small groan and a failed attempt in masking it. “Taecyeon, kid, this would be a big break for you. You don’t even know it will interfere with your group’s activities,”

“Would it really not?” Taecyeon deadpanned. He swept his hands over the window sill and looked out at the city, twinkling lights of tall towers and fancy buildings glinted all over the streets. He let out a breath. “This job would be full-time, what about my actual job?”

“Acting is also your actual job,” his agent said, irritation underlying in his tone. Taecyeon let out a breath, images of his parents urging him to take up more acting works and perhaps leave the group which had practically founded his identity. He knew that acting would be a more sturdy job, maybe even better paying depending on his role, and probably with a less exhausting schedule as well. But the thought of leaving his members absolutely tore his heart apart. He could imagine it, Junho’s betrayed face, Minjun’s weary one, Wooyoung’s confused expression, Chansung’s tightly shut eyes and Nichkhun’s imaginary tear tracks. 

“2pm is almost done with promotions,” Taecyeon conceded, looking out the window at a bloody red Porsche making its way down the road. “If I can film then, when we are on a break, then I’ll consider it.”

He could almost see his agent’s grin on the other side of the phone. “I’ll discuss it with their team, let me also make a meeting so we can all discuss this in full.” He paused. “I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to,” Taecyeon sucked in a breath, he didn’t want to be ungrateful, his agent was constantly accommodating his needs and his specific timetable so he would be able to do acting along with be a part of 2pm. In fact, Taecyeon probably put more on his agent’s plate than he did on his and 2pm’s manager. 

“Sure. Thank you, hyung,” Taecyeon whispered, they ended the call. It was quite late, and Taec had specifically requested this conversation to be at this odd hour in the night because he had assumed everyone else would be resting or sleeping. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought back to the two younger men in the living room. Sparing one last glance outside the window at the nightlife, he closed the latch and set out back where he’d come from. The carpet of the hallway was soft and familiar with the members’ footsteps thunked into place. He knew they all would leave this place at some point, get their own apartments and huddle into gatherings perhaps once a week or so. Taecyeon felt a tug in his heart at the thought of leaving this place, he examined one of the pictures put up on the wall. It was from their debut. The dorm had 2pm etched into it, and leaving the flat wasn’t the problem, but leaving his members behind…

Chansung and Wooyoung were sitting on the couch, heads close together. Taecyeon tilted his head at their antics and a small smile appeared on his face, were they conspiring? Wooyoung jumped when he noticed him, causing Chansung to also turn around and give him a too wide smile. They had to be conspiring. 

“Hey, hyung,” Chansung grinned. 

Taecyeon rolled his eyes, “Shouldn’t you both be going to sleep? We still have practice tomorrow,”. Chansung glanced at Wooyoung, who had grimaced at the mention of practice. Poor kid must be exhausted, perhaps Minjun had been right when he’d said the ‘Death Day’ would’ve been too much for the group to handle. Speaking of that, Taecyeon flinched as he thought about what all he’d said. He definitely had to treat the group tomorrow. 

“Don’t act like a dad, it doesn’t suit you,” Wooyoung got up nonetheless, almost swaying as he walked. Taecyeon’s instinct jumped out to position the other but he felt that his help would not be appreciated. 

“Don’t act like a brat, it doesn’t suit you,” Taecyeon shot back goodnaturedly, it was nice to joke around with them. Each time, it never got old, and he has a hard time imagining his life without bantering with them. There is no suitable replacement, no replacement at all. Now how was he supposed to convince his family and agent that? He knew both were only trying to look out for him, idol life was strenuous and unpredictable, not to mention that at any rumor his life could tumble and he won’t be able to get acting jobs either depending on the rumor. But he’d been through too much to simply give this up. 

“You should rest too,” Wooyoung said, pausing and waiting for the man to continue with them down the hallway to their rooms. 

“Yeah, you must be tired, hyung,” Chansung agreed. Taecyeon’s heart swelled, and he knew he couldn’t sleep tonight, well not soon anyway. But he still followed them, they all checked the rooms to see which ones were still free because now there were barely borders between them. But today, everyone had actually stuck by their original places. So Taecyeon entered into his room, not  _ a _ room, but  _ his _ room. Nichkhun was asleep on his bed, looking as peaceful and princely as ever. Taecyeon went over to his own bed and carefully laid down as to not jostle Nichkhun. 

He knew he’d said to the agent he’d think about the acting job, which meant he had agreed in his agent’s language. But he hadn’t, not yet, and even if it was apart from 2pm’s schedule, would he really do it? No doubt, he loved acting (sometimes even more than music, only sometimes) but would he be able to handle the scrutiny from an entirely new audience as well. Each acting job came with more people seeing him, if there were more people, there was more good exposure and also more bad criticism. He stretched on top of the blanket on the bed, this contemplation would leave him sweating inside the covers. He glanced at Khun, the Thai’s face looked almost serene and devoid of any stress. Taecyeon wondered if he looked so unburdened when he slept too. 

He finally decided to shut his eyes, he would be able to think about this tomorrow. No use fighting in his mind when he should be doing it in real life, actually he shouldn’t be fighting at all. He sighed, then let his mind go to rest. 


	12. The Ill-Fated Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is Nichkhun's chapter, bit of a warning, this one is going to be opening a thread that will be loose for quite a while. 
> 
> Comment your thoughts and suggestions for the story!

Nichkhun couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something wrong with the new manager. TT looked over the six of them, five of whom were talking as they got their makeup on and one of them, being the Thai, was speculating. The American stood tall and seemed to be taking stock of everything, he was near Minjun and the man quickly struck up a conversation. Nichkhun slinked closer to listen, he wasn’t eavesdropping, no, he was simply in the same vicinity and they just happened to be talking loud enough for him to hear. 

“So a concert, and then a fansign? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Trevor questioned, scanning his clipboard with squinted eyes.

“It’s not really a fansign, just a few fans who got extra passes,” Minjun absentmindedly replied. He checked his appearance in the mirror, then sat still as the makeup artist put her finishing touches. 

“It’s a short concert, am I right?” Trevor asked once again, Nichkhun frowned, why hadn’t the manager cleared everything before?

Minjun nodded. “Yeah, if it was longer there would be no backstage passes as we would be too exhausted,” TT hummed his affirmation that he was listening. Then the American glanced up, meeting eyes with Nichkhun for a brief moment, then a stretched smile and then the attention was back on his clipboard. The Thai froze at the sudden eye contact, and then the lack of it, there was something off. He could feel it. 

“Are you stalking the new manager again?” Junho came up to him. Nichkhun glared at him. 

“Not new, temporary,” he corrected the younger, who rolled his eyes. Nichkhun felt the pull to look at TT again but he was too embarrassed of being caught again. “And I’m not stalking, I’m just wondering why he’s asking about things he should already know,”

“He’s american, he’s probably trying to see how the system works,” Junho offered, stretching in the suit the stylists had him wear. 

“Have you heard how he speaks Korean? He’s not clueless about this country,” Nichkhun’s narrowed eyes once again langed on Trevor, who was now conversing with someone on the phone in hushed tones and jerked hand movements. “Do you not think he’s… Sort of creepy?”

“He’s just a normal manager,” Junho sighed. “Don’t be so suspicious,”

“Why are we being suspicious?” Chansung asked as he and Wooyoung joined the conversation, the two had been joined at the hip since the morning, whispering and almost doting. It was odd, and Nichkhun didn’t know what to think about that. 

“ _ We’re _ not,  _ hyung _ is calling manger nim creepy,” Junho quite literally pointed fingers at Nichkhun, truthfully though.

“What, why?” Chansung’s gaze swiveled to the Thai. The maknae was dressed in a silver suit similar to Junho yet somehow still fitting in with the silk shirts that Nichkhun and Wooyoung had been made to wear. Sometimes it was amazing how the stylists managed to coordinate everyone yet still have them look different on their own.

“Do you not see it? There’s something weird about him!”

“Do you really miss our old manager that much?” Wooyoung adjusted the buttons of the pastel colour silk shirt, Nichkhun couldn’t help feeling his sentiment, the stylists didn’t like actually buttoning any shirts a lot. 

“Oh look, he’s calling us,” Junho gestured behind Nichkhun, where Trevor stood trying to usher them all towards himself. Nichkhun reluctantly moved towards the man. 

“Okay so, there is some bad news,” Trevor announced once they all had gathered around. Taecyeon frowned and crossed his arms, which Nichkhun had to admit looked very intimidating considering the former’s size in height and muscles. Trevor though didn’t seem affected at the slightest even if the staff person next to him bristled, the American barely cast a glance really. “Your show has been shortened to thirty minutes-”

“What?” Minjun exclaimed, the eldest’s eyebrows furrowed and the staff person once again slouched a little, leaning away from the group. Nichkhun shook his head, everyone called them beast idols and they looked the part but most of the time the group members had no idea of their effect. 

“Yes, disappointing,” Trevor said quickly and monotonically. “The time spent with fans with backstage passes will most likely be the same, we don’t know yet, just shifted up a little.”

“Why, though?” Taecyeon almost growled, the staff person jumped and this time Taec seemed to notice. Lowering his voice and casting an apologetic look, he spoke again. “Don’t tell me it’s for some interview that can’t be rescheduled because they’re ‘high ranking’.” TT raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond until at least a minute had passed, the members impatiently tapping their feet. 

“It has nothing to do with you guys,” Trevor finally said, Nichkhun couldn’t help but wince slightly at the heavy american accent. “Another group, from SM, they sort of made a deal with JYP, I suppose,”

“So we’re just being kicked to the curb for another group?” Nichkhun didn’t even phrase it as a question really, instead it was paired with a resigned sigh. It hadn’t happened in a while, but it had happened. Junho and Chansung too let out groans but no complains, Nichkhun figures the two were probably thinking about the extra free time they would get and that might be enough to appease them. 

“No,” Trevor answered flatly. “There are other reasons, ones I cannot disclose as of this moment.”

“We deserve to know!” Taecyeon argued, eyebrows pinching in a way that indeed seemed very  _ beastly _ . Minjun put a hand on Taec’s shoulder but he made no move to go start prepping before going on stage. 

“As of this moment,” Trevor repeated, a hint of exasperation making it’s way through his voice. Nichkhun knew his ‘flower boy’ image may be ruined but there was a smug feeling in his chest hearing that. “I will tell you when I can,” To that, Minjun curtly nodded and he and Taecyeon herded everyone away and to the sides of the stage. Where they were still hidden by thick black curtains. 

“He’s fishy,” Nichkhun bluntly stated. 

“It’s not like you to get so worked up about someone,” Minjun noted, adjusting his hair and the recently attached mic. 

“ _ He’s _ not fishy,” Junho said, casting a look at Nichkhun. “This thing is fishy.”

“Stop talking about fish, now I’m hungry!” Chansung whined. Junho whacked his head leading to an outcry from the maknae who instead of using his much larger stature opted to hide behind Nichkhun. He gave a small laugh, momentarily forgetting TT’s weird explanation like the others. But then Thai’s focus was back on the American  _ temporary _ manager, who was furiously typing on his phone. 

There was definitely something going on. 


	13. Conversing Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this seems like a filler chapter, this and chapter 14 were supposed to be the same but I unfortunately made it too long, so I split them both up.

Junho collapsed on a nearby chair, letting the noonas wipe his sweaty face with napkins. The other members weren’t better off, each one relishing the small break they got before they had to entertain the fans with backstage passes. Not that they didn’t appreciate their fans, but recently they’d had a more than hectic schedule leaving them far more depleted after small bouts of work than before. Perhaps it was a good thing cutting the concert so short. 

“How many fans are going to be here again?” Wooyoung twisted his neck then cracked his knuckles. Chansung patted his shoulder then got a look on his face which didn’t make much sense to Junho but apparently it did to Wooyoung by his muttered “I know,”

“Only like ten or so I think,” Nichkhun answered Woo’s question. Despite being just as sweaty as the rest of them, the Thai still managed to look like a mildly bothered prince and to say it irked Junho would be an understatement. The members all stretched once again, as a cool down for their energetic stage and also as a warm up to be hyped up again for the fans. They had to give the best to their supporters, make them worth it. 

“Come on guys, cheer up, we actually had a good performance today,” Minjun encouraged them with a wide smile, always the optimistic. His infectious nature did make Junho forget the soreness of his body from the dancing and jumping they did on stage. Minjun was right, despite only having thirty minutes, they really had made it  _ theirs _ . Junho got up, glancing at a clock on the wall he had been leaning against. They still had a few minutes. He took a look in the mirror to make sure he was presentable, then grabbed Taecyeon. “Five more minutes guys!” Minjun yelled from where he was conversing with the staff.

“What’s up?” Taecyeon smiled at Junho, he was dressed in a thin transparent coat over the rest of his outfit, which was surprising because the stylists usually liked showing off his arms. 

“What are Chansung and Wooyoung scheming?” Junho demanded right away, his sight leaving Taecyeon’s transparent coat to glance at said two who were ducked together and animatedly whispering about something. Taecyeon followed his gaze, eyebrows furrowing in a way that made him look like an oversized confused puppy. 

“Scheming?” Taecyeon tilted his head, dark hair brushing over his forehead, Junho’s fingers twitched to remove those strands. The stylists must cringe so much seeing all their work become a mess during a concert. “I think… I don’t think they’re scheming, but you can never tell with them. Or you for that matter, maknae line,” Taecyeon shook his head, reliving some of those pranks that had been played on him by the youngest three. Junho waited patiently for him to go on, even snapping his fingers to bring Taecyeon’s attention back. “Even last night, when Woo returned, they were talking about something.”

“By the way, what was the reason for Woo being late?” Junho asked, curiosity changing the topic. 

“You didn’t shake him down for the details?” Taecyeon raised an eyebrow, one edge of his mouth lifting in a half smirk half smile. Juho’s eyes dropped to the floor, he knew it wasn’t like him not to fuss over someone, especially someone who was as self destructive as Wooyoung. But the fight had taken a lot of energy out of him yesterday, and he hadn’t even been in it. To see his members fight with such animosity and the words they yelled, his mind was still repairing the energy it had used up in being scared and mad and sad and….Just feeling things. He didn’t have any output to those emotions, so his mind was tired keeping them at bay. In fact, he had barely spoken at all today except on Nichkhun’s weird obsession with the manager. But he was still observant, he could see that Wooyoung was normal, really tired but that was normal. And he could also see the ‘discreet’ looks and talks Chansung and Wooyoung kept engaging in, the former often being the one to initiate those. 

“Didn’t get the chance,” Junho shrugged. Taecyeon opened his mouth but Junho could see what was coming. “Just answer,”

“He lost track of time practicing,” Taec answered, his eyes tracked Junho’s reaction to the words, which wasn’t much. Then the larger of the two spoke again, this time slow and apprehensive, carefully watching Junho again. “I’m pretty sure he was lying, but it was late, and he wasn’t hurt, so I let it go.”

“He better not be hiding anything,” Junho’s eyes narrowed. “I’d said I’d flay him alive if he did that, and I intend to keep my word,”

Taecyeon let out a chuckle, deep and resounding, yet his expression was childlike, contrasting with his sculpted features. What an enigma this man was. No wonder he had assumed one of the ‘face of the group’ roles in 2pm, shared with Nichkhun of course. Minjun let out an announcement saying that the fans with backstage passes would be arriving now and the members all filed out of the room to go to the small hall where they would be meeting.

They stood by line, Junho in between Taecyeon and Nichkhun. He strained his neck to see where Wooyoung was greeting the first fan that had entered, who looked like she was about to faint, but that’s okay because so did Wooyoung. Junho quickly checked his reflection in the shiny screen of the door, making sure he looked the best for the fans. They were giving energy, money, just to support 2pm. A smile bloomed on his face automatically at the sight of the first girl nearing him, his heart swelled in response to the shy smile and excited look she gave him. Knowing people cared about their music, and also them, it was always… Hard to put into words, but an exhilarating feeling. The girl politely bowed to him, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Junho put on his most friendly and inviting smile, this was important, their interaction was important, she was important. His heart repeated it like a mantra. 

“I hope you all are taking care of yourselves, we want the group to be healthy,” the third fan had said, another girl, eyes sparkling and voice earnest. Junho’s mind immediately jumped to Wooyoung instead of thinking of himself, but before that, he felt so incredibly grateful to this girl. It was an important reminder, yes. 

Now how to relay that information to her, express the genuinity of his feelings to her. He opened his mouth, ready to say the most meaningful words he could muster on the spot and he saw her eyes light up. 

“GET DOWN!”


	14. It's A Hard Knock Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! (Slightly anti climatic)  
> \---  
> The next chapter took me more than a month to finish, writer's block is hitting me hard.

“GET DOWN!”

Minjun immediately dropped to the floor, elementary school training ingrained in him. He pulled down Wooyoung also, who had been staring in a daze. Staring at what, he didn’t know. The command had come frantic and panicked, he didn’t even need to know what he’d ducked for. 

“What’s happening?” Taecyeon yelled from next to him. Minjun had no answer. But soon he didn’t need one. 

The yelling had stopped, well, it had succumbed. Minjun slowly rose, Taecyeon following. Three of the managers and guards were struggling to hold a woman brandishing a …. Pole? How had she snuck that in? Why did she….? What was happening?

But then… the realization snuck in. 

Chansung was backed up into a corner, kneeling down and cowering. There were marks of bruises forming and a small cut on his cheek. Minjun felt numb, looking at the maknae so...Vulnerable. Rage and protectiveness and an undeniable sadness all battled within him at the same time. He contemplated what to do, but he couldn’t just leave Chansung there. This entire process occurred in the span of thirty seconds or so, and soon he knelt by Chansung with concerned eyes. 

“Chansungie?” Minjun whispered it but his voice wasn’t soft. The younger looked up with such frightened eyes that Minjun’s heart broke. He still wasn’t clear on what happened, but he could assume. Taecyeon’s venomous look and exchange of words with the security and the girl they had surrounded only further gave understanding. Chansung’s suit was disheveled and he hadn’t moved since. Minjun sat down next to him then, warning off the incoming staff with a look while Taecyeon continued to argue with security. The other members hadn’t moved, looking around in bewilderment and confusion. But Minjun didn’t miss the fierce look in Junho’s eyes as he took in the scene. He placed his hand on Chansung’s. “Let’s go home,”

It felt surreal, Minjun wasn’t even sure what was happening. But he led Chansung out the hall into their van, settling the younger into the backseat and then sitting down next to him. He counted on Taecyeon to bring the others here and no doubt the small meeting was now over. Minjun still wasn’t clear on what exactly had happened but it had left everyone shaken and as the eldest, he had to look out for the others. 

Especially the maknae, who’s shoulders were hunched up and eyes downcast as the van started up to make their way back to the company. “Actually,” began Taecyeon, “to the dorms instead, please.”

The driver nodded, a little doozy from the nap he’d been taking when Minjun had rushed in with Chansung. The silence was tense in the van, unspoken anger radiated from Junho and Taecyeon, though thankfully not at each other. Wooyoung caught his eye and glanced at Chansung, Minjun clearly knew what he was asking, but he didn’t know the answer. So he didn’t reply, well he tried, from the looks of it he must have sent a solemn look. As the eldest, he really needed to learn to keep his expressions and emotions in check, he didn’t want to keep failing the rest of them. 

The ride back was quiet, everyone could sense the situation properly and appropriately kept their mouths shut, which would be a big deal normally but nowadays it felt like they spent more time without speaking than the rather. It unnerved Minjun, they used to be so loud people would snap at them to shut it, but perhaps it was just maturing. Looking at Chansung now, almost asleep with his head resting against the glass, Minjun didn’t want the group to mature. Not yet. It was too soon. Yet in his heart he knew, they had matured much earlier even before they got so quiet, it was just life as a trainee. Bright eyes may stay but they were harder, stonier now, knowing looks from seniors and passing them on to juniors. It’s not so much as growing up or going through war as it is simply just knowing what the world has out there, they would’ve found out anyway, they just did a little sooner. Because it’s hard to survive in the entertainment industry without knowing what exactly it entails, you can’t just dive into it you need to be eased into it if you don’t want to lose your mind. At least, that’s what their first dance teacher had said back when they were trainees and complaining how they wanted to debut faster because she was the only teacher they could talk to so casually and friendly, they had bonded. And she had left, well, they had left, because they’d debuted. 

“Chansung?” Junho asked, he got no reply from the now sleeping man. His body posture relaxed as he let out a breath, now addressing the rest of them in a quieter voice. “What happened?”

“Some sasaeng,” Nichkhun began answering before Taec could, which was probably a good thing considering the older’s taut stance. “I think she was saying all kinds of creepy stuff, and obviously he was just trying to tell her not to be so crazy, you know? But in that polite way to not hurt her, but she went batshit on him. That’s all I got, it happened too fast for actual details or confirmation,” Air hissed out through Minjun’s teeth, they had been warned of this, even known this before anyone else had said it to them, that fans weren’t always something great. But no, all fans were amazing, these people, these sasaengs, they were not fans, not in Minjun’s mind. 

“What do we do now?” Junho murmured in response, just like Chansung before, his eyes were fixed on the floor with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Update our security?” Wooyoung looked at Taec and Minjun, then Nickhun and Junho, though the second youngest didn’t meet his gaze. “I know what they’ll tell us, we can’t just do nothing and just say this happens sometimes!” How the eldest wanted to agree, but he knew how the industry worked, while Woo also knew, he still had hope left in him. So for him, and all the other members, Minjun mustered up the little bit of hope he had. 

“There’s no harm in trying,” he said. Taecyeon shot him a look, and he knew it was to not give false hope, but he was sticking by his words. They were true after all, and everyone in the van was already smart enough to know not to aim high. Just a small reaction, a small ‘we can try but it probably won’t happen’ will be progress enough. The van quickly reached the destination, and Minjun really didn’t want to wake Chansung up. The youngest looked peaceful now, a sharp contrast to the panic from earlier. Minjun sighed but before he could, Taecyeon was there gently nudging the maknae. There was so much left to be discussed, and on top of this incident, maybe they could also mention the concert shortening. Though that was definitely not going to get anywhere, Minjun made sure everyone else was out before exiting himself, well, there was no harm in trying. 

**Author's Note:**

> No pairings have been decided which is why I marked it as Gen and Multi.   
> It's up to you guys to tell me what you would prefer!


End file.
